After Everyone Went Home: What Our First Me’fulness Retreat Taught Me

In my last Journal entry, I wrote about an idea that had been stirring in me for quite some time. I kept wondering what it would look like if everything SoulFit had grown to become could be woven together into one unhurried weekend. I imagined the Wellness Center, the kitchen, yoga and meditation, time in nature, nourishing food, meaningful conversation, quiet moments and evenings around the fire, all rooted in this idea of Me’fulness that had become so important to me.

At the time, it was still something I was envisioning. A few weeks ago, eight women arrived at SoulFit and I finally had the opportunity to watch that vision come to life. Now that everyone has gone home and I’ve had some time to sit with the experience, I think what surprised me most is that I went into the weekend believing I was creating one retreat for eight women. What actually happened was that we created enough space for eight women to each have the retreat they needed.

Eight Women, Eight Different Journeys

Some of the women knew one another and some arrived as complete strangers. A few had spent years exploring meditation and different forms of inner work, while others weren’t entirely sure what Me’fulness meant or what the weekend was going to hold for them. And I think that mixture was part of what made it so beautiful. Everyone arrived with her own story, her own responsibilities at home, her own reasons for coming and her own ideas about what it means to take time for herself. I didn’t want anyone to feel as though she needed to arrive in a particular place emotionally or spiritually in order to belong there.

That is very much at the heart of Me’fulness for me. It isn’t about fixing ourselves or constantly trying to become some improved version of who we are. It’s about becoming aware of what is already present and learning to meet ourselves there with a little more compassion and a little less judgment. So we began with Permission. Permission to be there. Permission to step away from everyday responsibilities for a few days. Permission to rest when you wanted to rest, participate when you wanted to participate, and perhaps most importantly, permission to receive.

Astrid expressed that so beautifully when she talked about being someone who spends so much of her life caring for and supporting other people and then asked, “But who’s gonna hold me?” I think there are a lot of women who understand that question. Sometimes we become so accustomed to being the person who holds everything together that receiving care can actually feel unfamiliar. Over the course of the weekend, I watched women begin to allow themselves to receive in their own ways. For one person that might have meant sitting outside with a book. For another it was walking through the woods, spending time in the Wellness Center, getting into the cold plunge, taking a nap or simply deciding that she didn’t have to do anything at all. There was no right way to experience the weekend.

What Happened Between Everything I Planned

I had spent a lot of time planning the retreat, and there was certainly a flow to our days. We practiced yoga and meditation, explored HeartMath, spent time in the Wellness Center and in nature, gathered for our Me’fulness conversations and shared some really beautiful meals. But when I think back on the weekend now, some of the moments I treasure most happened in between all of that. There were conversations around the table that lingered long after we finished eating. There was laughter coming from different rooms, someone sitting quietly by the pond, women walking together and conversations that began casually and somehow found their way into something much deeper.

There was also something really beautiful about watching people choose rest without feeling as though they needed to fill every available minute. I think that was one of my own lessons from the weekend. I can create the structure, prepare the experiences and make sure there is intention behind what we’re doing, but I also have to leave room for whatever wants to happen naturally. Sometimes the most meaningful part of an experience isn’t the thing we scheduled. It’s the conversation that happens afterward or the quiet moment when someone finally has enough space to hear herself. And I watched eight women who had arrived with very different lives begin to become a community.

The Kitchen Became Part of It Too

It probably won’t surprise anyone who knows me that food became such an important part of the weekend. We ate beautiful, colorful, whole food, plant-forward meals, but what I loved most wasn’t simply what was on the plates. It was what happened around them. We gathered around the kitchen and the table. We passed food, talked, laughed, tried things we might not normally prepare at home and took our time eating together. It reminded me again of what I saw during our Nourish & Restore Kitchen Experience. Nourishment is certainly about what we’re putting into our bodies, but it can also be about the environment in which we eat and the people we’re sharing that food with. There is something about sitting around a table together that allows people to soften.

When Me’fulness Became Something We Could Feel

Throughout the weekend we moved through the four movements of Me’fulness: Permission, Awareness, Connection and Remembrance. Those words are very familiar to me. I’ve spent months sitting with them, writing about them and considering what each one means. But during this retreat, I had the privilege of watching other people experience them rather than simply hearing me explain them.

Our time around Connection was particularly meaningful. There were tears and realizations, but there was also laughter, honesty and an incredible amount of support for one another. Several women experienced things during that time that I don’t think any of us could have planned or predicted. What stayed with me afterward wasn’t that I had somehow created those moments. In fact, it was almost the opposite. I realized that I didn’t need to create a breakthrough for anyone. My responsibility was to create an environment where people felt safe enough to be honest with themselves and then trust what happened from there.

One of the phrases that has become very important to me as I’ve developed Me’fulness is, “Love creates the safety in which change can occur.” I watched that happen during this weekend. And it wasn’t only coming from me. These women began holding that space for one another.

When Me’fulness Is No Longer Just a Word

Carolyn came to the retreat without knowing anyone, and in her testimonial afterward she said something that has stayed with me. Before the retreat, Me’fulness was basically “just a word.” By the time she went home, it meant something to her personally. I loved hearing that because I don’t want Me’fulness to be something people have to study or completely understand before they can experience it. It can be as simple as noticing that you’re tired and allowing yourself to rest rather than pushing through. It can be recognizing that you’re automatically saying yes when something inside you is asking for a no. It can be receiving care when you’re usually the one providing it, sitting quietly long enough to notice what you’re feeling, or remembering that making room for yourself doesn’t mean you care any less about the people around you.

And ultimately, it is about Remembrance. Not becoming someone new, but reconnecting with something that was already there.

What the Weekend Taught Me

I’ll admit that before everyone arrived, I had plenty of questions running through my mind. I wondered whether the schedule would flow, whether eight women who didn’t all know each other would connect, whether we would have enough time or too much time, whether all of the food would work and whether the Me’fulness work that had become so clear inside of me would translate when I shared it with other people. And yes, there were spreadsheets and schedules and menus and all the behind-the-scenes things that go into creating a weekend like this. But once we began, something really lovely happened. It flowed. Not because everything happened exactly as I had written it down, but because it didn’t need to. There was enough structure to hold the weekend and enough freedom within that structure for people to follow what they needed.

That may be the biggest thing I learned. I don’t need eight women to leave SoulFit having had the same experience. In fact, I don’t want them to. Astrid’s experience of learning to receive wasn’t Carolyn’s experience. Ritu’s experience of discovering how much community could be part of an inward journey belonged to her. Another woman found something meaningful in simply slowing down enough to listen to herself.

Eight women shared one weekend, and eight different stories went home. And somehow, within all of those individual experiences, something collective happened too.

After Everyone Went Home

Sunday eventually arrived and people began packing their bags. There were hugs, conversations about staying connected and then, one by one, cars started making their way down the drive. The kitchen was cleaned, the yoga mats were put away and the rooms became quiet again. I remember walking through SoulFit afterward and realizing that it felt a little different to me. This thing that had lived in my imagination for so long had actually happened here. These women had trusted me enough to come spend a weekend at SoulFit without completely knowing what they were walking into. They brought their stories, their openness, their laughter, their tears and their own beautiful energy into this place, and in return I had the privilege of watching SoulFit hold them for a few days.

In my last Journal entry, before the retreat had happened, I ended by saying: “This is the experience I built SoulFit for. I can’t wait to share it with you.” I don’t think I fully understood what that sentence meant when I wrote it. I do now.

This really is the experience I built SoulFit for. Not because of the schedule, the food, the Wellness Center or any one thing we did that weekend. All of those things matter, but they’re pieces of something larger. I built SoulFit to be a place where people can step out of the pace of everyday life long enough to reconnect with themselves, with nature and with one another. For one weekend, I got to stand back and watch that happen. And I am incredibly grateful.

Our next Me’fulness Retreat will be November 6–8

And once again I’m keeping it intentionally intimate with only eight spaces. After experiencing the first one, I understand even more clearly why that matters. Eight allows us to know one another. It allows room for quiet, conversation, individual attention and the kind of connection I watched unfold during our first weekend.

If you’ve been wondering what a Me’fulness Retreat is really about, perhaps the simplest answer is this: You don’t have to arrive knowing what you need from the weekend. Sometimes giving yourself permission to come is where it begins.

Be Well,
Amy

Feeling called toward the next Me’fulness Retreat?

After experiencing our first retreat, I understand even more clearly why we keep these weekends intentionally intimate. With only eight spaces, there is room for rest, reflection, meaningful conversation, individual attention and genuine connection.

If something in this story is speaking to you, you’re welcome to learn more about the upcoming Me’fulness Retreat on November 6th-8th and reserve your space.